Dane Owner's Checklist

You know you are a Great Dane owner when...

©1998-2005 Ginnie Saunders.
All rights reserved.

  • you use a snow shovel for a pooper scooper

  • you replace your fullwave waterbed mattress for a motionless mattress because when the dog circles three times before laying down, it is like being on the Mayflower in bad weather

  • you're showering and suddenly your dog joins you... for a drink

  • your puppy's newest toy is your daughter's 8-pound bowling ball

  • you walk through the house at 2 a.m. to let him out and you accidently kick his giant bone -- you have to go to the hospital for stitches on your big toe

  • My Great Dane has ARTHRITIS.
    Does yours?

    We tried various brands of "glucosamine with chondriotin" pills on our elderly Great Dane, Merlin, and he didn't get the relief we were looking for – until we switched to a special LIQUID formulation.

    I highly recommend a liquid glucosamine with chondroitin formula to anyone whose dog is suffering from arthritis or hip dysplasia. Liquid formulations offer a much faster and more efficient absorption rate compared to pills.

    Merlin, who recently celebrated his 10th birthday, is feeling much better now, and I'm completely sold on the product!
                          — Ginnie Saunders

    Click here to learn more

    you really can blame rude noises on the dog

  • the mailman rings the doorbell, runs to his truck, and waits for you to come to the curb to give you your mail

  • your dog backs up out of small rooms

  • when you bring your new dog home and take him for his first walk, the noisiest dogs in the neighborhood fall silent

  • you child-proof all of your cabinets and doors – above 3 feet

  • you set 5 places at the dinner table, but only 4 chairs

  • your dog thinks it's funny to yawn with his head just above the cat, then close his mouth over her entire head

  • at least two drinking glasses a week are broken by his wagging tail

  • you learn to hold the handrail and hug the wall when the dog passes you going up and down stairs

  • your child waits in line while the dog jumps on her trampoline

  • your two dogs sneak onto the bed in the middle of the night, and you wake up feeling like one of those dividers in a TV dinner

  • you go to the vet and they give you your own private waiting area

  • your housekeeper quits when she learns your dog is pregnant

  • your 110-pound puppy just doesn't understand it when other dogs bark at him and run away

  • you go camping and you bring an extra sleeping bag and sweatshirt for your dog

  • your Christmas tree decorations start 40" from the base of the tree

  • one of your sleeves looks like it has been starched due to his drool

  • you find yourself consoling a 140-pound dog and reassuring him that the 4 pound kitten didn't mean to hurt his feelings

  • you have bruises on your thighs from that weird leaning thing he does

  • the term "lap dog" takes on a whole new meaning

  • you begin referring to smaller dogs as "treats on feet"

  • it takes three attendants to lift your dog onto the vet's table, but only if he's cooperating
  • your smoke detector keeps getting knocked off the ceiling

  • while sitting on the computer you get various dog toys stuffed into the back of your shirt; when you finally turn around, your dog is staring down at you

  • all the programs on your computer are Dane related or have Dane graphics as headings

  • you point to the top shelf and say "Get that for momma"

  • you no longer need to worry about dieting and exercise for yourself because all your food money goes to kibble, and all your free time goes to walking the dog

  • windex takes on a whole new meaning 

 Continue to Page 5

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