Dane Owner's Checklist



You know you are a Great Dane owner when...

DANE OWNER'S CHECKLIST
©1998-2008 Ginnie Saunders.
All rights reserved.

  • My Great Dane has ARTHRITIS.
    Does yours?

    We tried various brands of "glucosamine with chondriotin" pills on our elderly Great Dane, Merlin, and he didn't get the relief we were looking for – until we switched to a special LIQUID formulation.

    I highly recommend a liquid glucosamine with chondroitin formula to anyone whose dog is suffering from arthritis or hip dysplasia. Liquid formulations offer a much faster and more efficient absorption rate compared to pills.

    Merlin, who recently celebrated his 10th birthday, is feeling much better now, and I'm completely sold on the product!
                          — Ginnie Saunders

    Click here to learn more
    Dobermans and German Shepherds look small
  • the holes in the yard must be straddled with the mower or you'll never be heard from again
  • you have spent four weeks on crutches after stepping in a hole dug by your dog
  • the city garbage collectors draw straws to see who has to walk by the fence to get the garbage can
  • you go to the feed store and ask if they sell dog food in bulk
  • you come back from the feed store and suddenly you're driving a "low rider"
  • there is 520 lb. of dog food in the guest bedroom and another 120 lb. in the freezer
  • you're thrown from the bed in the middle of the night because your dog crawled under the bed and got stuck; so he stood up
  • your two dogs are running together at full speed (playing) and they start heading in your direction; you dive for cover (fast!!!)
  • your dogs are jumping from side to side while playing, and the wall-to-wall carpeting is moving
  • you hear this heavy breathing in your ear and it isn't your spouse
  • you have saved your dog from being wedged under a coffee table
  • your vet has to use an elevator table to examine your dog
  • your dog glares at you because he can't understand why you are peeing in his water bowl
  • you take your vehicle in for the repair of the electric windows, and try to explain the composition of Dane drool and why the windows get "gummed up"
  • you sit on the floor because the sofa is occupied
  • food is not safe on the dining room table
  • everyone in your home town (pop. 6500) knows you as "that crazy woman with them big spotted dogs"
  • the only French-cut panties you own have tail holes cut in them
  • you go to a motel listed as accepting pets and they won't rent you a room (even after you camouflaged him with a hat and sunglasses)
  • you issue athletic cups at your front door to all male visitors
  • the top of your refrigerator is covered with toys needing repairs
  • you spend more time in Dog School, then you ever did in High School
  • one kiss from your dog can destroy all your makeup
  • your "cute little puppy" put on 90 pounds in 8 months
  • you start a support group for women who are battered by their dogs
  • your food bill at the store comes to $75 and all you bought for yourself was a dozen eggs
  • you have to take out health insurance for bodily injuries done to you by your dog
  • your wife/husband mistakes the DOG for you
  • butts on the couch, feet on the floor is normal, and your company thinks it is something remarkable
  • you don't go to the health food store for yourself... you go for your dogs
  • a regular dog toy lasts 5 minutes (maybe)
  • the one who "reads" over your shoulder isn't your spouse, but your dog
  • you do a small correction on your friend's little dog and it flies up in the air
  • washing the slobber off the walls and furniture is a regular part of your housecleaning regimen
  • you tell guests to put something on top of the refrigerator to keep it safe
  • your friends and colleagues don't even ask how you got the black eye anymore
  • after hearing hundreds of adults say, "Ya oughta be riding her!" "Gotta saddle for it?" and "I thought that was a pony!" you think that the most creative comment you have ever heard comes from a four-year old child who says, "That is a beautiful collar."  


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