"Couch Potatoes"

Anyone who owns a Great Dane will tell you that the couch is the dog's favorite place in the house. It's an inherited trait. All Great Danes carry a special gene called a "Couch Receptor."

Encountering a Great Dane on the couch when you want to sit down presents a special problem. Great Danes don't just lie on couches, they dominate them. And once they've snuggled into a couch, they don't like to leave. Evicting them is seldom easy. Here are some suggestions:

Commands. Try the usual commands like Down! Off! or Come Here! Nine times out of ten, your Dane will pretend he is sleeping, so you have to be a little more creative. Walk over to the window and say in a loud voice, "Wow! Just look at the size of that squirrel!!" If he doesn't respond say, "Oops! I was wrong, that's not a squirrel. By golly, it's a female dog in heat."
Food. Still no response? Okay, walk into the kitchen. Stand next to your dog's food bowl and start talking to an imaginary dog. If that doesn't work, walk over to the refrigerator. Open the door. No response? Fiddle around inside for a moment and then say "Oh no! I just dropped the steak on the floor." If he doesn't come running, then pull the steak out of the refrigerator and throw it onto the floor.

Strangers. If your dog is still glued to the couch, you are going to need some outside assistance. Pizza deliveries will usually rouse a Great Dane because if he doesn't get up to bark at the delivery boy he'll usually get up for the pizza. If you happen to be lucky perhaps the mail man, the meter reader, or even the trash collector will show up soon. And you can always call the UPS man, the florist, or the plumber. (If you get really desperate, there's always the fire department.)

Surrender. If you have tried everything and he still refuses to vacate the couch, then you have few remaining options. You can sit on the floor, you can sit on the Dane, or you can buy a second couch.

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