"Thanksgiving Study"

In a recent study, American Great Danes were asked to give their opinion of the Thanksgiving holiday. 65% said they were "for" Thanksgiving, 30% reported they were "against" Thanksgiving, and 5% asked what it was. Follow-up interviews with these dogs led researchers to some interesting conclusions:

The Great Danes that reported they like Thanksgiving are comprised of two distinct groups: 1) those which are permitted to sit at the dinner table to share in the meal and 2) those which have developed effective techniques for sneaking food from the dinner table.

The Great Danes that don't like Thanksgiving share a common complaint. Their people keep them away from the dining area. They report that they know the food is there, but access is denied. Thanksgiving is particularly stressful for this group. (They're left to nibble their kibble while the aroma of roasting turkey fills the house.)

The third group, which reported no opinion, was comprised of Great Danes who have never seen a Thanksgiving meal. Many spend the holiday at the kennel, while their owners visit relatives. They were shocked to learn what they'd been missing.

On November 26th, 1998, our investigators are taking a select group of 200 deprived Great Danes to the White House. There they will enjoy a formal "sit down" Thanksgiving dinner as guests of the President, the First Lady, and the First Dog, Buddy. Scientists -- and reporters -- will be on hand to record this momentous event.

(DaDane of the week is updated every Monday with a new illustration and story.)

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