The Easter Dane

According to a recent article in Life magazine there has been an exciting breakthrough in genetic engineering. Biologists attempting to improve the Easter Bunny through DNA manipulation inadvertently created an entirely new animal. This creature is much larger than your average Easter Bunny – in fact it's as big as a Great Dane. Scientists are calling it the Great Easter Dane.

he Easter Dane behaves very much like a Great Dane, yet retains several rabbit-like characteristics. He trolls kitchen counter tops looking for treats (Easter eggs being his favorite) and he readily hops onto couches and beds. Scientists report that, like most rabbits, the Easter Dane prefers hopping to other methods of locomotion. They point out that while this is fine for outdoors, a happily hopping Easter Dane can be a hazard in homes with low ceilings.

hey also warn that the Easter Dane eats over 20 pounds of carrots daily. Naturally, eating so many carrots creates a potential problem for people with small backyards. Not to worry... the Easter Dane excretes dry pellets just like a rabbit. Even better, the compact orange pellets can be composted or used as mulch.

The buzz in the scientific community is that this genetic marvel will reproduce rapidly. Easter Danes should be available as house pets within a few months, but only in limited numbers to qualified buyers. All potential owners will be carefully screened to make sure they can provide a quality home with ample carrots. The purchase price for a first-generation Great Easter Dane is expected to exceed $20,000.
(Pssst! Pass your mouse over the picture for an Easter surprise.)

Jabber Update: I am still traveling, and Jabber remains at the UGA vet hospital. He's doing okay. There has been no significant change in his condition other than the fact that he is being treated for a urinary tract infection. I will be returning later this week and hope to bring Jabber home by the weekend – finally!

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